the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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