i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
