now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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