Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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