call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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