just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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