How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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