He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
