Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
