you have to choose: penises or morals?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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