i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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