So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
