sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You should frame my arrest warrant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
