There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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