I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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