This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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