i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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