Where did you get a picture of my penis
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
