You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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