You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
