i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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