I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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