Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
