You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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