He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
