I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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