I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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