dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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