ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we have pet lesbian snakes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
