He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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