so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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