He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
