Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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