What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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