Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
