U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
