Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
