I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize