And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
