So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
