Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
