absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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