well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
