Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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