i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
