he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
