Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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