Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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