For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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