should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
