For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
