can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
