do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
