we have officially lost it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
