I am puke
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
