Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
