Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
