Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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