I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
