Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
