DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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